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Dear Parents,

Welcome to the CSU Family! If you are new to parenting a college student, I would like to especially welcome you to this fun, exciting, and challenging aspect of parenting. I have watched two sons successfully navigate college and reach that milestone of graduation and I have a daughter who is a rising senior here at CSU. So I do understand the joy and apprehension that parents face when the time comes to watch your child go off to college. Oh the challenges and joys of parenting a college student!

College students can be full of excitement about the future, yet the shape of that future is likely to change from moment to moment. One month into his first year at college, out of the blue our son informed us that he had found his calling and would be moving to Colorado to become an astronaut. I chose not to overreact since it did not seem like a possibility at the time, but by the end of that year, he was in fact accepted at the USAF Academy. He graduated with honors, completed graduate school at Rice University, graduated pilot training and is stationed in Japan and still hopes to be an astronaut someday. So this unexpected change turned out to be the right thing for him. My second son changed majors at least three times (I lost count) but actually graduated on time. (take out this May). Change seems to be a constant for college students!

There are a few things that can make this transition smoother. For instance, students love to receive mail and especially enjoy care packages with cookies (and money). I discovered that my boys are not too fond of writing letters. However, they are much quicker to respond to e-mail or to chat on instant messenger and they still enjoy phone calls from mom and dad.

You probably expect that adjusting to your student being away from home will be a challenge, but you may not realize that you will have to adjust to their return as well. Quicker than you can imagine, you will find new uses for the extra space and start to enjoy a reduced noise level at home. And then, your student will come home for a visit (and likely bring a friend or two along). He or she will expect everything to be the same, except for the rules since “I’m an adult now.” There are adjustments that have to be made on both sides. We found that our son was less than enthusiastic about his little sister taking over his room and re-decorating in hot pink.

I cannot say exactly what your experience will be like because each experience is unique. However, I do know that your attitude can make a big difference. If you act as though you have lost your child forever and spend months grieving and wishing your student was five again, then you can expect to feel depressed. If, on the other hand, you express great joy at their departure, you might end up alienating your student. Somewhere in the middle is a healthy response that lets your student know that you love him or her and are sad for the separation, yet proud to see your student pursue higher education.

Mom and Dad, You can relax and rest in the knowledge that your primary job of training your child is finished and you have a new role as friend and supporter. You can trust that God will continue His work as you shift to become the parent of a college student. My conversations with my sons have broadened and our friendship has grown. I enjoy them in new ways. Don’t get me wrong, parenting a college student is NOT easy. But it is awesome! I highly recommend it!

Please know that we are here to help your student in any way that we can. CSU offers counseling services free of charge to all students. We are here to help students with personal counseling issues such as loneliness, relationship difficulties, career decisions, depression, anxiety and spiritual questions. We believe that wellness is achieved when the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of a person are all functioning properly. If you believe that your student would benefit from these services, please encourage him or her to call and make an appointment. Your student can request an appointment by calling the counseling line at 863-8010 or by logging onto our website at www.csuniv.edu/counseling. While we welcome your input and will be happy to speak with you, please be aware that all counseling is confidential and that we are legally prevented from discussing counseling sessions with parents without a written consent from your student. Confidentiality ensures that your student will feel free to share openly which leads to better outcomes in therapy. Please understand that we cannot respond to you directly, but will encourage your student to speak to you when it is appropriate.

Also keep in mind that having your student enter college is a big change for you. You may experience changing emotions and changing roles. Give yourself time to adjust, and try to start enjoying this new season in life. Join a support group or take up a new hobby. Pray for your student that God will use CSU as a positive experience in your child’s life.

So as the last few weeks of summer fade away and you make preparations for your student to come to CSU, plan ways to enjoy quality time with your student and begin to embrace this new stage of parenting. Please know that CSU Counseling Services- along with all of the Student Services Division and the entire CSU Family- look forward to having you and your student join the CSU family. We are here to help so please encourage your student to stop by our Open House on August 30th to see our new counseling center and meet our friendly, professional staff.

I look forward to meeting you at move-in and the parent reception.

Sincerely,

Glenda K. Hill Nanna, MA/LPC