Prayerful Parenting ©
April - June 2000 Messages

Segment One: Wives Bring Home the Bacon

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. What happens when a wife brings home more income than her husband? It can be a tricky situation in a growing number of families, especially those in which the wife is highly educated. It is situation that Christian couples may have to learn to enjoy and deal with in a loving way. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and research done by a Harvard economist, Richard B.Freeman, suggests that 30% of working wives, of all ages, make more than their husbands, and this number is growing as more women complete college degrees. The income is not the issue, but dealing with questions of power, control, and sharing chores at home can be. For Christian couples, the answer can be found by looking at the Proverbs 31 woman: "She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard." Keep in mind that the Proverbs 31 woman is our ideal, so Christian men should not be jealous nor intimidated by a successful wife. Instead, they should consider such wives a blessing from the Lord. Afterall, the proverbs tells us: "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."

Segment Two: Peace After an Affair

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. This message addresses one of the most difficult and unfortunately frequent problems that Christian couples must deal with, what to do after an extra marital affair. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and it is sad to say, but Christian couples do not realize that their homes and hearts are just as vulnerable to sins of lust and deceit as anyone else, and they stumble into affairs. Research suggests that between 45 and 60% of couples will face this challenge. Unlike non-believers, however, Christians have the grace and peace and power of Jesus Christ to draw upon if they choose to do the hard work of rebuilding after an affair. Julie Walsh, a writer for WebMD news offers some practical help for making peace after an affair: Deal honestly with the truth of why the affair happened. Avoid making any major decisions for at least a year after the affair. Seek professional and spiritual counseling. Remember what 1 Corinthians 13-13 says: "But now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love."

Segment Three: Gifted Children

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. How do you know if your child is truly gifted? Sometimes it helps to take a little quiz. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I have taught gifted children and written curriculum for them. Currently, I write a column called "Ask Dr. Bone"in Challenge Magazine a publication for parents and teachers of the gifted. Parents and teachers want to know the signs of giftedness. Here are a few. The gifted child will: 1) Take on responsibilities with ease; 2) Is confident; 3) Expresses himself or herself verbally at an early age; 4) Likes to dominate activities; 5) Solves problems creatively; 6) Sets high standards for work and will do whatever it takes to accomplish it; 7) Produces art work or writing or music that is unusual in its length, scope, or detail. Gifted children can be just as tough to deal with as a child with academic or social problems. They are often eccentric, dynamic, and hard to keep up with. Be sure, however, as you teach and parent your gifted child, that he or she knows 2 Corinthians 3:5 by heart: "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves. but our adequacy is from God."

Segment Four: Dating and Romance

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and springtime is the perfect season for romance and engagements. I got engaged on my birthday in April and planned a winter wedding. But Spring is also the time to consider some truths about dating for Christian men and women, and that is not always easy to do. Recently, one of my former students at the university stopped by to chat about her "almost fiancée", a very wealthy, charming, successful young man. "So," I asked, "What about the big things? Is he a believer?" She shook her head and told me that the young man belongs to a non-Christian faith. I warned her to re-consider, but she laughed and said, "Dr. Bone, I knew you would tell me this, but those things don’t really matter today. Everyone is open about religion." Maybe not. Research from the American Psychological association suggests that married couples who share their religious beliefs are: 1) happier, and 2) more likely to remain married. Scripture is very clear: "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness." Christian men and women should not even date unbelievers; the risks are simply too high.

Segment Five: Breastfeeding is Best

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. New research published in the journal Developmental Medicine and Child Neurology points to the importance of adding two essential fatty acids (DHA) and (AA) to prepared infant formulas. These essential fatty acids are found naturally in mother’s milk, and may be part of the reason that breast fed babies are healthier, have higher IQ’s, and greater emotional well being. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and once again, research affirms what nature (that is nature as created by Jehovah God) has always offered for free: breastfeeding is best for babies. As we study brain development and early learning, the role of nutrition in building healthy brains cannot be underestimated. Mothers who choose not to breastfeed for at least 1 year are choosing lower IQ for their babies. Of course, there are women who must return to work or who cannot, for a number of reasons, nurse their babies. I believe that God sets aside a blessing for those babies.The sad truth is that most women can, but won’t choose what is best for their babies, and that is sad. Psalm 128 says:"Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine", and like a sustaining vine, mother’s milk nourishes the body and brain of the infant.

Segment Six: Men, Women, and Doctor’s Visits

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. Here’s a surprise for wives who are listening: men resist going to the doctor. In fact, according to a new study by the Commonwealth Fund, "an alarming number of American men are dangerously out of touch with their health." Three times as many men as women had not seen a doctor in the previous year and one in three had no regular doctor. Half of the men reported that they did not have a physical exam or cholesterol check in the previous year. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and the report also suggests that when men finally do seek important medical attention, such as a screening for prostrate or colon cancer, it is because a wife or daughter has made all the arrangements and dragged him to the appointment. Proverbs 31 says that a worthy wife does her husband good all the days of his life, and that may mean that she does whatever it takes to get him to the doctor. Husbands who have a wife who nags about cholesterol and cancer has a wonderful gift. He needs to be thankful for her loving attention to his health.

Segment Seven: Fathers Matter on Father’s Day and Every Day

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. In his powerful 1995, Fatherless in America, David Blankenhorn cites anthropologist Margaret Meads’ statement that "the supreme test of any civilization is whether it can socialize men by teaching them to be fathers." This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and one must wonder if America is failing that test. Today one out of three babies in America are born into a home with no father, a 600% increase since 1960. Children who grow up without fathers in the home are much more likely to drop out of school, to commit crimes, to become the victims of violent crime, and to be sexually promiscuous and use drugs. There is something powerful and important about the presence of a father that cannot be replicated nor replaced by a woman alone, and yet many women foolishly argue that it is not an issue to raise a child in a fatherless household. These women fool themselves and shortchange their children. From pure financial underpinning to physical protection from a tough world, boys and girls need their fathers. And fathers need to be there for them. In the book of Malachi we read that "a son honors his father", but to earn that honor, a father must be in the home and in the hearts of his children.

Segment Eight: Easter

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and I think that Prayerful Parents are missing the blessing and joy of the Easter season. We spend weeks preparing for Christmas, and it is a wonderful time of year, but Easter should be even more important. Easter is the reason for our hope. Easter is what makes Jesus savior and Lord. Isaiah 60:1 says: "Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee." How excited are you about Easter? Are you preparing your home? Are you sharing the Word? Are you telling the Easter story over and over again, building up to a joyful ending so exciting and meaningful that your children can’t wait to hear the story again? For Prayerful Parents, Easter should be the happiest time of year and the opportunity for teaching children about Jesus the Christ.

Segment Nine: Mother Goose Day

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. Did you know that the first day of May has been set aside as International Mother Goose Day? It is a wonderful opportunity to re-commit yourself to reading aloud to your children every day, and nursery rhymes are a perfect way to start. This is Dr.Linda Karges-Bone and here are some fun ways to celebrate Mother Goose Day with your children. Make an audio tape of mom or dad reading favorite rhymes so that children can listen whenever they wish. Visit the website of the official Mother Goose Society at http://www.blalc.org and join in a national event. Take your children to see some real geese at a pond or lake. Create snacks based on favorite rhymes, such as pumpkin bread to go with "Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater", or dress up like favorite characters and have a parade at pre-school. Memorizing rhymes can help to build language fluency and auditory discrimination skills in children. For an added treat, visit my website at the Charleston Southern University page csuniv.edu and find a special story called "Mother Goose on the Loose" that I wrote to help my youngest listeners enjoy this special day.

Segment Ten: Evolution

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. Recently, the state of Kansas has been caught up in an educational storm not unlike the violent tornadoes that are known to whirl across the plains. It is all over a simple change that was proposed in the state’s science curriculum. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and the curriculum change was a proposal to delete a test item on the state science exam, dealing with the theory of evolution. If this test item were deleted, it would free state schools from having to teach evolution. The idea is to teach what the children are to be tested on. Nobody said that evolution could not be taught nor that creationism must be taught. It (evolution) was simply taken out of the curriculum loop as a mandate and left up to individual science teachers and parents to decide. A national debate erupted, with liberals screaming for reinstatement of evolution. As parents and teachers consider the place of evolution or, as I prefer to call it, change over time, in the curriculum, I invite them to read Job 38:4" And I will ask you, and you instruct ME! Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth! Tell ME if you have understanding, Who set its measurements, since you know." Answer that on the state test.

Segment Eleven: Mother’s Day

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and I love the season of springtime, because it is the season in which I became a mother for the first time. For the first time that May, I had a baby to hold in church during the Mother’s Day service. The joy and pleasures of motherhood are a blessing from the Lord, and a privilege for which I am grateful to my God. Today, can you honestly say that the joys of motherhood are on your mind, or have you allowed Satan to rob you of this blessing mothers, by leading you to focus too closely on your fatigue, your worries, or on worldly issues that won’t matter even a month from now? Don’t fall into that trap. Seize your moments and enjoy your babies today, whether they are five weeks old, five years old, or big, bossy, fifteen year olds. Get up early today and drive her to school. Pack a note in his lunchbox. Take time to read a poem or story together. Tell him that he will do well on the spelling test or that she will be brilliant in the class play. Proverbs 31 tells us that the children of an excellent woman will" rise up and call her blessed." If you desire that outcome, then begin by acknowledging your children as a blessing today and every day.

Segment Twelve: Creative Summer Activities

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. With summer upon us, are prayerful parents ready to deal with ten or twelve weeks of bored youngsters? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and summertime can be refreshing or exhausting, depending on your level of creativity. This year, why not steer your 10 to 14 year old youngsters into one of the following activities: 1) Creating a neighborhood newsletter on the computer; 2) Starting a business washing and walking dogs; 3) Learning a foreign language by tape or computer program; 4) Taking a babysitting or first aid course; 5) Planting a garden; 6) Making jewelry or crafts to give at Christmas; 7) Going with you on a monthly visit to a nursing home; 8) writing to a pen pal on the mission field; 9) reading in a summer library program; or 10) taking a cooking class. Psalm 96 reminds us: "Sing to the Lord a new song." Have you planned for a fresh, new song that your children can sing this summer, using their talents to glorify the Lord?

Segment Thirteen: Stressed Out Parents and Church Attendance

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 122: "I was glad when they said unto me, let us go to the house of the Lord." This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and sadly, many children and teens do not know the joy and comfort that come from spending time every week, in the house of the Lord. The problem is, their parents say that they are "too stressed out" to make it to church. If I’m talking to you mom and dad, then listen closely. Did you know that the peace that comes from hearing the word is more powerful than any Prozac you might take? Did you know that the rest that you find in God’s presence is more healing than another hour of sleep on Sunday? Do you realize that the protection that your family is accorded by being in the fellowship of God is more important than any income or promotion that you earn through your hours of work? Finally, do you see that Satan is using stress to keep you out of God’s house and to draw you leisurely into sin and destruction. Proverbs 11:29 is your warning:"He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind." Are you troubling your own house by keeping your children out of God’s house?

Segment Fourteen: Witness Today

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©.. Remember the neat bumper sticker that came out a few years ago? It said: "Have you hugged your kid today?" I’ve got a better one: "Have you witnessed to your kid today?" As parents, grandparents, step-parents, foster parents, child care workers or school teachers, we have a wonderful opportunity to share Jesus Christ with the children in our lives, and we often ignore it. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I’m not talking about quoting scripture or praying with children, I’m talking about your outward expression of an inner experience. In his powerful book of devotions, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes: "Some of us have the new name in spots only, like spiritual measles. In sections we look all right. But the disciple is the one who has the new name written all over him self-interest, self-sufficiency and pride have been completely erased." So have you witnessed to your child or any child today and when they look at you, really watch you in action…do they see a disciple or some fuzzy caricature of a Christian?

Segment Fifteen: Fourth of July

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting©. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and this year, as in years past, we will celebrate the 4th of July with a barbecue, a day off from work, and lots of fireworks with the neighbors. Maybe I will make the red, white, and blue Jell-O dessert on the front of the cheerful women’s magazine. That is if my 14 year old daughter Carolyn will help me. I’m not a very good cook. Seriously though, as prayerful parents, we need to consider the way that we teach the concept of patriotism. What do your children know about the flag? I was raised on military bases and for us the flag and the sacrifices of patriotism were all too real. My dad’s 18 month stint in De Nang gave me a lot to think about. How real and important is patriotism to your children? Do they know the words to the National Anthem? Do they understand the concept of "one nation under God"? Psalm 33 tells us "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." Too often we blame the schools and the media for our children’ s lack of patriotic values and everything else, but you and I know….it is what we do at home that has the most impact.

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