Prayerful Parenting ©
January - March 2002 Messages

Segment One: Sanctity of Human Life

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© Twenty-nine years ago this month, the Roe vs. Wade decision made abortion on demand legal in the United States. To date, over 38 million babies have been aborted. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and the loss of human life is staggering. On September 11, 2001, when terrorists took the lives of 6 thousand innocent citizens, the entire world grieved, and they should. But where is the grief, the outrage, the despair when 38 million babies are killed? I think one reason for the lack of outrage is ignorance. Recently, a young woman told me quite confidently. "You know Dr. Bone, I don't support abortion. I'd never do it. But, if someone else chooses that, who am I to say they are wrong?" I replied: "Really, did their baby choose to die? Was it the baby who made that decision or was it made for him or her?" She was speechless, then answered. "I never thought about it that way." Truthfully, maybe she had never really thought about it at all. Ephesians 4:17 says: "In the Lord's name, I tell you this. Do not continue living like those who do not believe." What do you believe about abortion? And how is it reflected in your life?

Segment Two: Are Americans Turning Back to Religion?

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© I must confess. It feels kinda strange to be pumping gas into my little red SUV and have a friendly message flash up on the screen of the pump. "God bless the USA". That message is everywhere, from gas pumps to fast food marquees, but who is the God that our nation is pleading with and does He hear? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone and I fear that our sudden interest in God is significant, but not serious nor sustained. Hebrews 10:23 says: "Let us hold firmly to the hope that we have confessed, because we can trust God to do what He has promised." How firmly are we holding on? After the 9/11 attack, churches were filled with worshippers. Or were they just worriers? By November a Gallup poll revealed that church attendance had dropped back down to 42%. A Family Circle poll placed the number at closer to 37%. It seems that God is like a snack food for Americans, something to chew on when you get a little hungry, but he's not the main course. Like all of you, I want God to bless America, but first we need to confess our sins and make a commitment to a Real and Righteous God, not a fairy tale phantom on a gas pump marquee.

Segment Three: Spinach and Blueberries: the new brain foods

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© Remember how your mother used to nag you to eat your spinach? Well, she was on to something. Spinach can help to make you both physically and mentally stronger. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I spend a lot of time studying how we can learn more effectively and efficiently, and some fascinating research is emerging about the impact of food on the brain. Both spinach and its sweeter kin the blueberry contain important antioxidants that may prevent the brain from "rusting". The brain needs specialized nutrition, frequent use, appropriate stimulation, and avoidance of chronic stress in order to maintain health. The impact of chronic stress, through the release of cortisol, combined with our fatty, overblown diet are deadly to the brain. According to the book, The Miracle Brain, by Jean Carper, we should be consuming 65% fresh vegetables, nuts, legumes, and honey and only 35% meat protein. Take a look at what Daniel ate in chapter 1 of his amazing journey toward wisdom or browse the scriptures for mentions of honey, another brain food. Could it be that once again, God's word is ahead of the latest research. Let me grab a handful of blueberries and I'll get back to you.

Segment Four: Teenagers and Limits - Rock and Roll

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© There are certain rites of passage in adolescence. The driver's license, the senior prom, and for some teens, the first big rock and roll concert. Each of these can be significant, but could one of them lead to your son or daughter's death? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I must admit that rock and roll wasn't really my thing. I preferred the folk tunes of Peter Paul and Mary or the vanilla rock of the Monkees, but today's hard rock bands are exceedingly popular even among Christian teens. Putting the questionable content of much of their music aside, I am giving parents a heads up today about the real, physical danger of the concert scene. Be aware that crowd rushing, stage diving, and another phenomenon called moshing, which occurs in a pit near the front of the stage, seriously injures hundreds of kids each year at large stadium concerts and that death from head injury or internal damage is common. If your teen attends a large concert, make sure that he or she has a ticketed seat and stays in it. Rape and assault are also possible at these events since alcohol and drug use are rampant. And keep the mosh pit and stage diving strictly off limits. Your kids will be amazed if you even know these terms, but surprise them. It may save a life.

Segment Five: Kids Who Can't Learn

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© Did you know that most dropout statistics in this country are not accurate? If you look at the high school drop out data for most schools, it hovers between 1 and 4%, but the real figures are terrifying. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and between 35 and 50% of students drop out before completing high school in this country. In some urban and rural areas, it may be higher. The true drop out rate takes into consideration the fact that a huge percentage of kids leave school between the 9th and 11th grades, and drop out data typically measures the number of students who start and finish the senior year. By then, it is too late to help many kids who have trouble learning. The inability to read well and to comprehend, stress in the family, poverty, and spiritual emptiness often result in drop out. If your child has trouble with reading and comprehension, as early as the 2nd or 3rd grade, take action. Special education may or may not be the answer and neither is Ritalin. Find out why your child can't read and hunt down a program that can help him or her. By high school it is too late.

Segment Six: Valentine's Day Romance

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© My husband and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary in 2001. We dated and were engaged for 2 years prior to that time, which puts our time together near the quarter of a century mark. That's a bit scary, but also wonderful. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I believe in marriage. It is the hardest task I have ever undertaken, and I routinely tell students that I would rather rewrite my dissertation than re-live the first 10 years of married life. It was just too hard, mostly because both of us were pretty stubborn and self-centered. What has changed? We are both still stubborn. The difference is our direction. Instead of looking inward, we look outward & help together. As Valentine's Day approaches, give your spouse two gifts: your undivided attention and the benefit of the doubt. When you are together, look into each other's eyes and listen. When you are tempted to accuse or blame, look for answers instead. Some experts say that communication is the key to marriage, but sometimes we talk too much. Compromise is an underrated value in marriage, and that may be because it means thinking of the other person first. It took me a decade to figure that out, so take my word for it and don't waste time when you could be enjoying a more peaceful home life.

Segment Seven: Good Friday Meaning

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© This message is for Father Tony, a Franciscan priest who influenced my walk as a believer, and whose passion for Jesus Christ led me to become an Evangelical Christian. Father Tony knew how to get ready for Easter. He spent a lot of January, February, and March getting ready for Easter. As soon as the Christmas tree was tossed into the yard, he started talking about the sacrifice of Christ and how believers should prayerfully prepare for a remembrance of the Crucifixion. I remember one Holy Week service, in which he prostrated himself at the alter, overcome with sorrow and weak from fasting. He wanted us to see, through his life, how important Christ's sacrifice was for believers. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and my favorite devotional writer, Dr. Oswald Chambers shares this view, and cautions believers against teaching solely about a God of love, and ignoring the huge price that Christ paid for our sins by dying on the Cross. There is no greater love than the Cross, and we tend to gloss right over it and start celebrating the Resurrection. This winter, prayerful parents, consider how you will prepare you family for Resurrection Sunday. It was a long walk down the way of Sorrows for our Lord Jesus, and we need to teach our children to appreciate the sacrifice of the Cross in order to celebrate the Freedom of the Resurrection. Thank you Father Tony. I was listening.

Segment Eight: Don't Leave Your Children

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© When you first held your newborn baby, there was this indescribable feeling of "possession". This is mine. This is precious. You would lay down your life for that baby. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I remember begging the nursing staff to let me keep my newborn daughters in the hospital bed with me. They were afraid that I would fall asleep and drop the baby. No way. I was too excited. Yet, in spite of loving beginnings, many thousands of parents each year abandon their babies, through a socially and culturally acceptable practice called divorce. No matter how you spin it, divorce is a destructive force. And children typically bear the brunt of this force. Except in cases where the three A's (Abuse, Addiction, or Adultery) are significant issues, divorce should not be an option for Christian parents. Psalm 94:14 says: "The Lord won't leave his people nor give up his children." If our Lord Jesus won't abandon you, why would you abandon your own children, especially when you have a choice?

Segment Nine: Mental Illness and Minorities

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© Maria is a seriously depressed 24 year old mother of three. She speaks little English and is cut off from her family that lives in Mexico. Darius is a 48 year old African American man who is an independent contractor, a church deacon, and struggles with chronic anxiety. Liz is a 15 year old Native American girl wrestling with an eating disorder. What do these three have in common? They are part of the estimated 21% of Americans who struggle with mental illness, but they cannot or will not get treatment that could change their lives for the better. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and a new report from the US surgeon general says that individuals who belong to a minority group are far less likely to seek or receive help for mental illnesses. The reasons are both cultural and financial. Those who belong to minority groups are often poor, and increasingly may not even be US citizens, such as Maria. Moreover, in many cultures, mental illness is a frightening, embarrassing sign of weakness or even of evil. The church can be a healing force in this crisis. Screenings, counseling, referrals, and yes, even messages from the pulpit can help. Romans 15:13 says: "I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust Him." Is your church giving hope to those who suffer, no matter what that suffering may be?

Segment Ten: The release of American Aid Workers

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© On November 15, 2001 Heather Mercer and six other Western aid workers were rescued in a heroic pre-dawn airlift from Afghanistan. They'd been arrested on August 3rd by the Taliban , held in prison on charges of spreading Christianity. Their imprisonment and subsequent rescue is a modern day miracle. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and 24 year old Heather Mercer describes herself as a "simple servant", and once again, God uses the simple, the weak, and the obedient children to proclaim HIS power. The Taliban hates women, and Heather Mercer and Dayna Curry, her American colleague are both female. The Taliban's extremist Muslim regime hates the cause of Christ, and that was the mission of these workers with Shelter Now. By all that is worldly, they should be dead. But by that which is Holy, they were released from prison and rescued by US Special Forces, not by the power of any army, but through the power of God working through His plan and responding to the Intercessory Prayer of millions. On the day after their capture, I listened as the mother of one of the girls pleaded on the Today show for prayer. The perky newscasters were aghast, but God's will was done. A modern day miracle, possible because two simple servants from Texas responded to God' call.

Segment Eleven: Language Development

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© One of my favorite Proverbs is in chapter 25, verse 11: "Like apples of gold in settings of silver, is a word spoken in right circumstances. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and wise parents need to learn not only when to speak to children, but how to speak. Some of the most exciting research in child development and cognitive science is in the area of language. Infants recognize their mothers' voices at birth and by 14 days of life, a baby will choose his father's voice over another man's. But what happens when this attentive baby reaches age 4 or 6 or 8? Clinical psychologist Paul Schenk says that parents need to realize that children in this stage are very "concrete" in their thinking, and parents need to be very literal and specific in their speaking. One wrong move is to frame orders in the form of a request. When you say to a 6 year old: "It is time to get to bed, okay?" Or, "Would you like to eat your spinach now?" The child thinks he or she has an option. Another trap is the word "should". The child hears you lecturing instead of giving instructions. It breeds resentment. Be firm and clear and simply say: "It is time to set the table". A concrete thinker needs firm language and few options. Provide that structure and your parent-child communication will grow.

Segment Twelve: Teaching Children to Trust the Lord

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© By nature, I am a worrier. Even before my daughters and husband get up in the morning, I am praying for their protection. I wish I could say that I am vigilant in prayer because I trust God so implicitly, but the truth is that I am often so afraid of the world and the evil in it that I am prostrate before the throne in pure fear, accompanied by worry. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I am pretty good about saying that I trust the Lord, but rather inconsistent about living that belief. Then, I took a look at Psalm 71. I was renewed. "Lord, you are my hope. Lord, I have trusted you since I was young. I have depended on you since I was born; you helped me even on the day of my birth. I will always praise you. I am an example to many people, because you are my strong protection." Incredible. So I ask you, prayerful parents, as I examine myself. Are we examples of trusting God? Or just covering our incessant worrying with afterthoughts of prayer?

Segment Thirteen: Easter 2002 Message

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© Like many believers around the world, I followed the story of Western Aid workers who had been jailed by the Taliban on charges of spreading Christianity with great attention and constant prayer. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and truly, the release and rescue of Dayna Curry, Heather Mercer and their colleagues is a modern day miracle and an Easter lesson. During the crisis, I heard the father of one of the young women, who had camped out in neighboring Pakistan to be close to his daughter and work for her release say: "I'm not leaving without my daughter." In his determined words, I heard the voice of my heavenly father. "I'm not leaving without my sons and daughters. I will be back for you." I think the rescue of these young people is a message about God's power and authority and a sign to us that He is returning for us. No father leaves his children and this Easter, I encourage you to be watchful. Recall the words of Acts 1:11 " Jesus, whom you saw taken up from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you saw Him go."

Segment Fourteen: Prayerful Parenting Ten Year Anniversary

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© Ten years ago this week, the first Prayerful Parenting Messages aired on WKCL Christian radio in coastal South Carolina. Today, they air around the US and by short-wave radio around the world, through the collaboration of Family Radio Network. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and a decade ago, when I turned down a secular radio contract that would have forbidden me from bringing scripture into my radio program and took the offer of a free radio ministry, I never anticipated the impact that the move would have on my life and on others. Truly, God is amazing, beyond anything we can comprehend. I have received many phone calls, e-mail's, and letters and people are hungry for the authority of God's word in their families. I am convinced of what Psalm 34:19 says: "People who do what is right may have many problems, but the Lord will solve them all." Families have problems and God has answers. The trick is to be obedient to Him and not be drawn into worldly, empty, decisions. I have learned to rely on God over the past 10 years, and have been humbled at His creativity, timeliness, and care in answering the pleas of Prayerful Parents.

Segment Fifteen: Keeping a Clean Home

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting.© It is New Years, and time for making resolutions about weight loss, smoking, and becoming a more prayerful parent. As you start out the new year making resolutions, be sure to resolve to keep your home more neat and clean. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I'm not putting you on a Clorox-drenched guilt trip, I'm giving you an opportunity to raise smarter children. Interesting new research suggests that kids who are raised in clean, orderly homes do significantly better in school. Their grades are higher and they get into less trouble. It seems that kids thrive on order and discipline, and that a cluttered home may feed a cluttered mind. Proverbs 31 says that a godly woman "watches over the ways of her household", and a godly man can push a vacuum cleaner too! Prayerful Parents may need to pay more attention to housekeeping so that children will feel more organized and calm, and can pay more attention to their studies.

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1999	July 1999 - November 1999
2000	January 2000 - March 2000 April 2000 - June 2000 July 2000 - October 2000
2001	January 2001 - March 2001 Spring 2001 Summer - Fall 2001 Fall 2001
2002	Ten Year Anniversary Spring 2002 April - June 2002 July - October 2002