Segment One: Raised in a Christian Home

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. Sunday, November 22, 1999 will always be one of the happiest days of my life. If you are a Prayerful Parent, you will understand the meaning of why it is so. My 15 year old daughter made a public profession of her faith and was baptized. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and nothing I have ever done or can ever do for my child will be as important as what she chose for herself….to accept Jesus Christ as her personal savior. As our pastor stood with Carolyn in the baptismal pool, he said something that I had heard him say dozens of times before, about other families. He introduced her and then said simply…."Raised in a Christian home". In that moment, I understood that as a parent, my frantic efforts to deal with colic, ear infections, tennis lessons, clothes from Old Navy and the Gap, carpool, allowances, sibling rivalry, messy rooms, and algebra over the past 15 years meant precious little, but that our commitment to church and to God's Holy word had helped her to make this most paramount personal choice. Deuteronomy 6:7 reminds us to "teach God's commandments diligently" to our children. "Raised in a Christian Home." Don't let anything else stand in the way of your mission.

Segment Two: Respect for Life (January message)

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. As God's people enter the new millennium, we carry with us a painful, awful reminder of how weak our faith and obedience can be. This January marks the 27th anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision that legalized abortion. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and one of the best essays that I have ever read concerning the real, tragic truth of abortion was written by my Jewish brother, Paul Greenberg, a Pulitzer Prize winning editor of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. On the anniversary of the abortion decision in 1998, he found himself in a Catholic cathedral, praying for the babies who had been killed through abortion, and he noticed, in the quiet hush, that at one point there were exactly 10 faithful ones there. 10, he tells us, is the number needed for a minyan, the Jewish law's required number for corporate prayer. Just 10, that is what the law requires, and yet, it is hard sometimes to find the 10th person. That is where we are today…..we do not have the 10th person….a metaphor for the right number, a significant enough number to stand up and call out loud and be heard….enough believers who will quietly, prayerfully, and peacefully say "No more death…only life". What are you teaching your children about the right to life? Would one of your children be "the 10th person?"

Segment Three: Unwed Mothers

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. In these days of startling, sometimes depressing statistics, Americans have managed to create one of the most hurtful, tragic, and selfish social situations of all times. Here it is: More than half of the first children born to young women today are born out of wedlock. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and a new Census Bureau report, published in November 1999, points to a significant shift in the way that we view marriage and family. It has become normal for young women, not teen mothers only, but women under 30, to have children out of wedlock. In only 23% of the pregnancies do the mothers rush to the alter to before the baby is born, and these tend to be college educated, white women. For most women, having a baby without a husband is no big deal. In fact, says researcher Amara Bachu, "Single American women who get pregnant would rather not marry a man who cannot support them financially or emotionally." Marriage, it would seem, is not a sacred commitment designed to nurture and support the family, but a path to personal gain and pleasure. Proverbs 1:18 warns foolish young people about following the choices of the Un-Godly. "They ambush their own lives", the scripture cautions. Having children out of wedlock truly ambushes the lives of young women and their innocent babies.

Segment Four: Day Care Dangers

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. Listen carefully to this next message. It is for all mothers and fathers who are expecting a baby or who have little ones under the age of three. This is not a message about guilt. It is a message about hard, cold truth. Too many hours in day care can cause emotional harm to your child. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I never recommend large group day care for children who cannot already walk, talk, and feed themselves. Now, the results of the largest, longest, and most significant study of Day Care seem to support my opinion. According to a report published in the journal, Developmental Psychology, and based on the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care, "The more hours a young child spends in day care, the less attuned the mother and child are to one another." It is interesting to note that the study found that the weak link between mothers and babies goes both ways. The babies showed less interaction with their mothers, and the mothers engaged less and less sensitively with their babies. In short, the bond is weaker, and the long term implications for the child's emotional health are worrisome at best. For Prayerful Parents, large group day care is a poor choice. Make a better choice…..flexible schedules with a spouse, job sharing with another mom or dad……hiring a trusted caregiver or relative….or finding a way to stay home for the first 18 months to two years…but avoid large group day care.

Segment Five: Parents and Romance

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. Valentine's Day is February 14th and if you are dating or engaged, it is a Big Deal! The right card, the right gift, the right restaurant all figure into staying in the good graces of one's romantic partner. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I want to challenge Prayerful Parents to get back into the good romantic graces of your spouse, in ways that the world will not understand. Here is what you need to do. Stop for a few minutes and re-think your marriage vows. If you truly believe in a sacred, life-long commitment to marriage. If you believe that your first marriage is ordained by God, no matter how imperfect each partner might be….then you need to care for that marriage with the utmost sensitivity and sacrifice. If this is the only shot you will get at marriage….then you need to make two decisions right now; 1) Stop admiring other future mates and pay attention to your own mate. Lust is dangerous and a waste of time. 2) Stop tearing down your partner and start building him or her up. If you keep on bullying, nagging, and criticizing your husband or wife at the rate you are going, there will be nothing left in six months. Start building up with affection, support, and respect and you will have a marriage to cherish on Valentine's Day and every day.

Segment Six: Preparing for Easter

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. This message is for Father Tony, a Franciscan priest who influenced my walk as a believer, and whose passion for Jesus Christ led me to become an Evangelical Christian. Father Tony knew how to get ready for Easter. He spent a lot of January, February, and March getting ready for Easter. As soon as the Christmas tree was tossed into the yard, he started talking about the sacrifice of Christ and how believers should prayerfully prepare for a remembrance of the Crucifixion. I remember one Holy Week service, in which he prostrated himself at the alter, overcome with sorrow and weak from fasting. He wanted us to see, through his life, how important Christ's sacrifice was for believers. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and my favorite devotional writer, Dr. Oswald Chambers shares this view, and cautions believers against teaching solely about a God of love, and ignoring the huge price that Christ paid for our sins by dying on the Cross. There is no greater love than the Cross, and we tend to gloss right over it and start celebrating the Resurrection. This winter, prayerful parents, consider how you will prepare you family for Resurrection Sunday. It was a long walk down the way of Sorrows for our Lord Jesus, and we need to teach our children to appreciate the sacrifice of the Cross in order to celebrate the Freedom of the Resurrection. Thank you Father Tony. I was listening.

Segment Seven: Spousal Abuse

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I have been sharing research, ideas, and Christian perspectives on family life for over seven years. If you are listening out there, then write down what I am going to say next: It is never, ever, permissible for a man to raise his hand in anger against his wife. God's Holy word says that a man should be head of his household, and that a wife should "submit herself unto her own husband as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:21. This does not mean, however, that a man has the right to physically or verbally abuse his wife in order control her. I have been troubled by a number of reports of men who claim this scripture as a rationalization of their violent tempers. Obviously, abusers have not read the whole scripture, because two lines earlier, the Bible says: "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God". Marriage is about sacrificing and submitting in love and out of obedience to God. It is not a control issue; it is a love issue. For any man listening, who is confused about submission and who thinks that he has the right to hit his wife because he is the head of his home, then just imagine our Father God's anguish when He saw the soldiers beating His son Jesus and mocking Him in the name of God. That may be how anguished and outraged God feels when he sees you raise your hand to your wife, and justifying it by blaspheming the scripture.

Segment Eight: Online Egg Auction

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. Do parents really love their children? Not always, and not always for the right reasons. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and as an advocate for children, I find daily reasons to be sorrowful about the lives and fates of innocent children. in fact….there are many children whose lives on this earth were a living hell. But what about a different, more subtle kind of child abuse? What about the online auctioning of human eggs so that parents can be assured of "beautiful children"? A fashion photographer is now advertising on the Internet, offering the eggs of eight models to the highest bidder. If these babies are born according to the scenario being laid out, then they will be conceived not in love, but in hate, the hatred of physical imperfection. These will be babies whose only value to their parents is physical beauty. Their intelligence, humor, innocence, and souls are all secondary. They will be unlovable from the start, because no matter how tight the quality control of the ovum….nature will take its imperfect course, and woe to those poor babies who have a crooked smile, an awkward gait, or a prominent nose…. not even their mothers could love them…because she sold them before birth to the highest bidder.

Segment Nine: The Power of Prayer

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. One of the most comforting scriptures in the Bible comes from Isaiah 65:24. "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer, and while they are yet speaking, I will hear." This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and this marvelous promise is our assurance that God hears and acts on our prayers. Prayer is spiritually powerful, and according to researchers at the Mid-America Heart Institute Program, prayer if medically potent as well. 990 coronary care patients were studied. Half of the patients received traditional treatment alone; half of the patients were assigned a group of community volunteers who prayed for them daily over a 4 week period. The result: the patients who received prayer had 10% few complications. Keep in mind that none of the patients nor their families knew about the prayer interventions. This was a God thing, not a people thing. This study confirms the results of other research. Patients who are prayed for get better faster or have less pain and anxiety, as is the will of God. Just ask my friend Jeannie, whose husband and daughter were critically injured in a car accident. Doctors said there would be brain damage if they lived at all…..but a whole community prayed, trusting God….and they are healthy today. I have seen God honor intercessory prayer…and it is a powerful medicine for our faith.

Segment Ten: The Occult and Popular Child Entertainment

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. How do you as Prayerful Parents make decisions about the books that your children read; the toys that they play with or the cartoons that they consume? Do you use the world's standard or God's standard? Worse still…do you simply ignore your responsibilities and let children loose in a confusing, unhealthy mire of entertainment options? This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and this winter, parents may be confronted with two enormously popular entertainment choices that require discernment: The best selling Henry Potter series of books and the even more wildly popular Pokemon phenomenon. In my opinion, neither one is harmless and both of them deliver not so subtle messages based on New Age or occult influences. Though I do not believe that either the books nor the toys should be banned from anywhere, Christian parents should be discerning about how much exposure their children have to this entertainment. In 1 Corinthians 6:12 we read: "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything." The popular character in this series of books attends a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is not a playful magician pulling rabbits out of a hat….he is studying witchcraft. The Pokemon characters are based on Asian religion and folklore, in which characters bred of fire, water, earth, and air transform themselves to do battle, and the cards that children covet are akin to Tarot or fortune telling cards. Moreover, the fast-moving figures on the cartoons sent hundreds of Japanese children into brain seizures. It may not be illegal…but is it wise? You decide.

Segment Eleven: The Danger of Too Much Scheduling for Babies

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. For new parents, bringing the baby home from the hospital is the start of the most confusing, exhausting, and challenging period of their lives, not to mention what the poor baby goes through! Currently, there are two opposing camps in parenting choices, and I do not recommend either one.This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and I offer these words of caution about adopting a parenting program of any kind with new babies. In one camp, we have a number of Christian parenting programs that advocate strict scheduling for infants. By letting a hungry or frightened baby cry for long periods of time, the infant will supposedly "teach himself" to stay on a schedule. This is some form of infant behavior modification and early discipline. This is dangerous and not natural. Babies enter the world completely trusting their parents for food, comfort, and warmth. Give it to them. So what if they cry to be picked up or want to be nursed every hour….you were not given a baby to make your life easier. Moreover, nursing is not a scheduled event. Mother's milk is sweet and thin, and babies need it frequently. Mothers need to nurse frequently in order to build their milk supply up. Nursing is supply and demand, not a scheduled performance. In the other camp, we have attachment parenting, which advocates complete surrender to an infant's whims…never putting the baby done and even letting the baby sleep in the parents' bed until he or she is half grown. Let's get real here. Parents need quiet time too, and the baby needs to learn to play and relax in his own crib. Too much scheduling has led to dehydrated, sick babies and too much attachment makes parents crazy….So don't buy into anyone's program. Do what makes sense for you and your baby.

Segment Twelve: Caring for the Elderly

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. More and more families are dealing with the needs of elderly parents and friends. People are living longer and Christian parents have a new challenge in teaching their children and perhaps learning themselves, how to show respect for seniors. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and a new study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society confirms what the book of Proverbs has taught for centuries: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." It seems that the mind plays a powerful role in setting the expectations of older people. Using positive image building words such as "wise" and "astute" caused older adults to walk with a better gait, and to suffer fewer falls. In contrast, those adults who heard words such as "senile" or "diseased", began to walk like sick, unsteady persons. Harvard University graduate student Becca Levy found that negative stereotypes of aging worsened people's memories and self confidence, while positive stereotypes improved them…and more importantly, the good and bad words impact the physical body as well as mental health. How do you speak to and about older people? It can shape the way that they see themselves and it impacts the way that you teach your children to see their older family members.

Segment Thirteen: Post-Partum Depression and Babies

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. "Having a baby is supposed to be one of the most exciting, wonderful times in a woman's life…isn't that right? Then why do I feel so sad and worried?" the young mother asked me. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and post-partum depression is a very real experience for up to 20% of new mothers. Recently, researchers at Emory University found that both depressed mothers and their babies have increased amounts of cortisol in their blood, which is an indicator of stress. Interestingly, the babies' cortisol levels remained high months after their mothers had received and responded to treatment for the depression. Dr. Yolanda Graham presented her findings to the annual convention of the American Psychiatric Association, and these findings are important. Why do the babies remain under stress, even if the mothers' have received treatment? Is this an indicator of how vulnerable our littlest ones really are? Whatever the case, husbands, relatives, and close friends need to be prepared to step in immediately when a new mother shows signs of depression. The mother may be ignoring or over-protecting her baby, and either scenario is unhealthy. The young mother who sought help from me needs to ask a second question: "How is my depression and anxiety affecting my baby?"

Segment Fourteen: Relax this Winter

Welcome to Prayerful Parenting. After the holidays are over, some folks get depressed because there are no really big celebrations until Easter. Not me, I love the quiet winter days. It is my nesting time with the family. This is Dr. Linda Karges-Bone, and you may find these suggestions for winter relaxation and rejuvenation to be just what your family needs to take the chill off of winter. 1) Declare one night a week to be soup night, and let different family members experiment with creating a crock pot of soup to share. 2) Invite a single friend or older church member to share your pot of soup. They may be lonely during the long winter evenings. 3) Go through your closets and pick out extra blankets, sweaters, and coats and bring them to the local homeless shelter. 4) Begin an evening Bible reading time and let each child in the family take turns reading aloud; 5) Get some sunshine. Spend a chilly winter afternoon outside walking the dog or riding bikes. Research shows that sunshine helps to alleviate anxiety and depression. Most of all, give thanks to God for the long, beautiful season that is winter. Philippians 4:6 says: "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplications with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

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